Belgium Travel Review (Part 3 and 4 of 4)

Belgium

Travel Review

I’m off inter railing, (updates will be even more uneven for the next month) so I’m adding the last two parts of my review simultaneously. Enjoy.

ANTWERP

My Hostel, the indecipherably named Hostel Op Sinjoorke, was three kilometres from the city centre, so I decided to have a few beers before heading there. There's a nice quiet pub right beside the Onze Lieve Vrouwkathedraal (Antwerp Cathedral) which serves Hoegaarden for 2 euro a glass. One too many beers and a loss of direction later I arrived at 11:20PM to find that my hostel had closed at 11. Much banging and shouting led to a frenzied conversation with the owner in which I made my case for not wanting to sleep rough. She put up a spirited fight but, probably sensing that the headline “Tourist Dies While Sleeping Outside Hostel” would not do business any favours, eventually relented and granted me access.

Antwerp is a city of few sights, and it was Monday, so most of them were closed. The Cathedral was open though, and contains two massive organs (Ooer missus) and four gigantic paintings by Rubens. The paintings, mostly triptychs, are worth the price of admission, and are supplemented by some detailed displays explaining the Rubens style.

The view across the river Schelde is nice, but was hampered on the day by the horizontal rain knifing my retinas. The highlight of Antwerp for me was the Hendrik Conscienceplein (above), which I came upon quite by accident on the night of my arrival. The ornate church which occupies one side was partly designed by Rubens.

The free map which I picked up at my hostel, and which lays unfolded in front of me now, gives details on a total of 106 sights in and around Antwerp, most of which is padding. Of the attractions which were closed, only the Rubens House would have commanded my attention. And although the Hassidic Jews who people the diamond district beside the railway station are an interesting curiosity, they can't really be classed as a sight. Back to Brussels.

BRUSSELS REDUX

I had booked a bicycle tour of Brussels with Brussels Bike Tours for the morning of my return (after a decent but snore laden night in the Bruegel Hostel) which promised to glide through the cities main sights in a cool four hours. Unfortunately, numbers being what they were (just me) and weather being what it was (shit), the guide and proprietor of the tour, Cesar, turned up cheerily at the meeting point only to cancel the tour. As an alternative, I was given a free thirty minute rundown of the main Brussels points of note from the top of a local car park, which was more charming, and appreciated, than it sounds.

So, left to my own devices, I set off on foot with my list of Brussels to do's. After a twenty minute section of my walk, designed by Cesar to take in a varied cross section of the city, I arrived at the Manneken Pis. The Manneken (pronounced piss, not pee as I thought) is an - perhaps the – iconic Brussels landmark, and as I came to the busy corner on which it stands, my Brussels goodwill took another knock. The statue, which looks huge in most tourist paraphernalia, is no more than a foot high in person, and was dressed up like a child's doll. Under whelming, but still deserves five minutes of your time.

Passing the Old City Walls on Villerstraat, I made my way to Place Poelaert-Plein, a convenient location from where to view most of the city. Warned that the Atomium was an inconvenient to reach waste of money, I opted for a few distant photographs. The Palais De Justice, even though currently undergoing restoration, also deserves outside inspection.

Just down the road lies the Musees Royaux des Beaux-Arts (Fine Arts Museum). The museum needs more than the two hours it took me to stroll it's many exhibits. The Audio Guide is definitely worth the extra money if you intend to learn anything about the selected paintings which it covers. A highlight of this and any museum is the above Dali painting, The Temptation of St. Anthony. It’s an intriguing mix between old world Religious iconography and images which wouldn't be out of place on a Megadeath t-shirt.

The European Parliament runs tours at 10AM and 3PM. I arrived just in time for the latter, and after quite lengthy security checking, embarked on the multilingual audio guided tour. The Parliament building is an oddball. It would seem that people are interested enough in the workings of the EU Parliament to warrant running a tour, but at the same time, neither the building or the mechanics of what goes on inside are, in my opinion, interesting enough to justify exploration.

And so I bid farewell to Belgium. A conversation with one coach driver had left me no better informed as to the airport coach departure times, so I arrived early. The final nail in the bus driver/customer service coffin was pounded firmly down when, having closed the doors on two Irish girls who were waiting in line, (who I subsequently spoke to on the plane journey home) I observed as our driver departed while they attempted to open an outside luggage compartment.
Maybe my capacity to like the French speaking half of Belgium was severely dented by attempting conversations with one too many a snotty driver, but the Flemish speaking portion of Belgium are more friendly by far. Granted my conversations were mostly with Brugians who no doubt derive most of their income from tourism, but they win the “not needing a good kick up the hole” award for not treating tourists in the same manner as a doctor treats anal polyps.

Belgium can be split into the Good (Bruges), the Bad (Brussels) and the Ugly (Antwerp). Antwerp left me feeling as though there had to be other sights to see, Brussels as though I wished I hadn’t bothered, and I wished for more time in Bruges. If you’re passing through, the tariff for seeing the country as a whole is four days, and you could do worse than to spend all of those in Bruges. Fackin’ fairytale indeed.

Belgium: 6/10

Bruges: 8/10

Belgium Travel Review (Part 2 of 4)

Belgium

Travel Review

BRUGES

I saw the main Bruges square, the Markt, on the way to my hostel. The square is instantly recognisable if you've seen the recent Brendan Gleeson-Colin Farrell tourist advertisement, and I must say that it reminded me of being in a facking fairytale.

The Bauhaus hostel is... I mean, listen, what can you really say about any given hostel? I went in, got sheets, went to bed, woke up unharmed and with all my belongings intact, had a decent enough shower and left. It's inexpensive, clean and comfortable. You always take pot luck when it comes to roommates and mine were, for the most part, fine (if you discount the drunk snoring American lady). I didn't grow an inch overnight or awaken in a euphoric state, but it did the job.

The big plus point to the Bauhaus is that it's five minutes walk from Burg Square which houses the Stadhuis (City Hall), my first port of call. The admission fee is 2 euro and also includes entry to the nearby Brugse Vrije (liberty of Bruges) which housed the Bruges courts. The Stadhuis is really only one room, but the audio guide is free, lengthy and for the most part interesting. Give the Brugse Vrije a miss though, it's boring.

The Helig-Bloedbasiliek was next on the list. This is the Chapel of the Holy Blood, so called because it apparently is home to a vial containing drops of Christ's blood. Either that or Dulux top coat shade number 53. This was a trip highlight because the choir were practising as I walked in. They were so good that I ended up staying for 20 minutes just to listen.

In hindsight, I should have gone to the Belfort (Belfry) earlier, since the queue I joined took half an hour to shuffle to the ticket desk. The views are panoramic, and the different levels offer some decent Belfry information, but I must admit that I'm a bit observation point-ed out. Most big towns have some tower or other for tourists to climb and they become samey after you've done a few. This is no different, but worth a look all the same.

The Groeninge Museum was temporarily shut for the installation of a new exhibit, so I went next to the Gruuthuse. One word sums this museum up, and that's M'eh. The guide cards laid out in each room provide an astonishing amount of detail on the artifacts, but none of them are terribly interesting. I'm sure that when I was 18 I could have gotten a semi from looking at an apothecary jar, along with every other thing I saw, smelled or touched, but after forty five minutes with the Gruuthuse's collection I was searching for the exit.

Next door is the Church of Our Lady of Bruges, in which Michelangelo's Madonna with Child stands. The statue itself, despite being ensconced in a grandiose altar, is a low key affair but worth a look.

My overall trip highlight was De Halve Maan brewery. The tour lasts about 45 minutes and the price includes a free beer. My tour guide, whose name I have completely forgotten, did an excellent job of keeping things entertaining and there was no need to force laughter at her jokes. By this stage things in Bruges were beginning to close up and wind down, so I stayed for a couple of tasty beers before catching the train to Antwerp.

To Be Continued

Next Installment: (Insert wordplay incorporating the word Twerp here)

Belgium Travel Review (Part 1 of 4)

Belgium

Travel Review

Founding nation of the European Union, home of magnificent beer and chocolate, little wedge on top of Germany and France; all of these are apt descriptions of Belgium, an odd little country which was a mostly mystery to me until recently, when a cheap Ryanair flight prompted a closer inspection of this largely overlooked tourist destination.

The flight there was uneventful, save for a rather peeved passenger stopped at the boarding gates for what I presume was a passport irregularity. When I walked by I noted that, were I in the same situation, I probably wouldn't choose to endear myself to the gatekeepers by shouting “This is an outrage. Get me your supervisor”.

BRUSSELS

A return coach trip from Brussels-Charleroi airport cost more than my flight, which admittedly wasn't hard. You must expect to pay top dollar though, to be ferried about by the surliest, least tourist friendly bus drivers. It seems that Belgian bus companies go to great lengths to find non-English speaking, brusque employees to staff their tourist routes, and when they find them, they must make them feel like the kings amongst men that they are by giving them big salaries. Its either that or, MUCH less likely, extortion for a necessary service which isn't fit for purpose.

The bus stopped at Gare du Midi in Brussels, from where I should have gotten the Metro. Instead, I went exploring. One hour and a worrying amount of chips later I finally asked for directions to find that I was a good two miles from where I thought I was. By this time I had developed a pain in my face with Brussels, which thoughts of a forty minute walk didn't serve to dull.

My maiden sight was the Grand Place, Brussels' central square. It's surrounded by guildhalls and is suitably impressive. I was saving most of Brussels for my second visit in two days time, so I just saw one museum.



The Magritte Museum doesn't open until June 2009, so that was out of the question. The Musee des Instruments Musique (Museum of Musical Instruments) had come highly recommended by my guidebook and the web. Now, without wanting to state the obvious, or wanting to toot my own horn (horribly bad pun intended), I knew what most musical instruments sounded like going in. So the audioguide, which I presumed contained interesting factoids on the instruments, and which was actually filled with nothing more than the sound of selected instruments, was of no use to me. Any information beyond this and instrument names was thin on the ground.

When I say that the dependable and cheap Belgian train system was one of the highlights of my trip, you'll see the problems I had with Belgium. One quick journey later though, and I was in Bruges.

To Be Continued

Next Installment: I Went Down (Or Up rather) to Bruges

Liverpool Travel Review

Liverpool

Travel Review

I can't understand why people don't like Ryanair. I really think they look at it the wrong way. The whole experience of booking a flight with the much maligned carrier needs to be viewed as a game. If you can fulfill all the conditions the airline imposes, and win the game, you can fly for next to nothing. Correspondingly, each “failure” results in a “fine”, whether its not possessing a Visa Electron card or your desire to bring more than a single carry on bag.

With this in mind, I had trawled the Ryanair site looking for a truly cheap return ticket to a major European city. I found Liverpool for one day (or just over 21 hours) for €15. It would have been €5, but I dropped points by booking with regular Visa. So, cue the Mission: Impossible intro music because here comes Liverpool in (slightly under) a day.

22:00 - Tuesday

Here is what you need to get from the main entrance of Dublin Airport in under ten minutes. Online check-in, one carry on bag with all guns, knives and most especially containers over 100ml removed, no queue at security, and finally, if you're flying with Ryanair, legs of steel because you know your boarding gate is going to be at the far end of the terminal. All of these things combined, and as I pistoned my way to my gate, I contemplated that this time all the cherries might line up to produce my most hassle free flying experience to date. These thoughts faded as I noticed one hundred Real Madrid fans waiting to board my flight.

23:00

The plane performed a dip of roller coaster proportions on take off, which left me on edge for the rest of the flight. The only thing keeping my mind off the persistent turbulence was the chatty Italian girl next to me who didn't let the fact that I had a death grip on the chair in front dissuade her from carrying on a largely one-sided conversation.

The Madrid fans were quiet for most of the flight, despite the odd nihilistic whoop when it seemed as if the plane might go down.

0:00 – Wednesday

John Lennon Airport. On the verge of kissing the ground when I exited the aircraft, I relented when I was hit by the wind and rain. I said my goodbyes to chatty Italian girl and went to find a bus to my hostel. Liverpool has recently stopped running night buses; something which I and three fellow travelers only found out after waiting at the bus stop for twenty minutes. A taxi ride for four was the next best alternative.

1:00

I was staying at the Embassie hostel. The vague directions given by the taxi driver lead to more rainy wanderings than I would have liked, but eventually I found my way there, to be greeted by more Spaniards than you could shake a novelty straw donkey at.

I haven't stayed in hostels alone much, and although I appreciate the monetary savings,the demands made on my sleeping patterns might prove just enough to force me to graduate to budget hotels. For instance, its a special ability, an innate talent that hostel owners have to apportion one snorer per room. I don't know, or care to know how they do it, I only wish it would stop.

One of the nicest things which you could say about the Embassie decor is that its basic, something which a hostel dweller cannot malign. It gives no clues that it was once the Venezuelan Consulate, but its clean and that's enough. The major plus points to staying here are that the staff are friendly in the extreme, the price is right (£15 Sunday to Thursday) and you get all the tea and toast you can drink/eat. www.embassie.com

7:00

A few hours later I awoke and, pleasantly surprised that I had not been sodomised in my sleep, showered, ate enough toast to constitute breakfast and lunch and began the short walk to town.

8:30

The Anglican Cathedral and entrance to Chinatown, which I passed by, are both worth a look, as are the shops, the lands which exchange rates forgot. The euro has weakened slightly since it reached near-parity with the pound, but sterling shopping still represents the next best thing to taking a trip to the States.

10:00

All museums in Liverpool are free (the ones I visited anyway). Laden down with goods, I started with what turned out to be the best museum in Liverpool, the Walker Art Gallery. The John Moores Prizewinners exhibit featured the most vibrant and interesting paintings, including the above birdcage. Avoid the current Fashion v Sport exhibit. Its a waste of time. The George Always painting series isn't too hot either.

11:30

The Liverpool Museum is more child oriented, relying on multimedia and live exhibits to make its point. I spent most time in the Natural World section (pretending to be a dinosaur, if you must know) and found that most of the fun had evaporated from the experience before I reached the fourth floor.

1:20 PM

A quick lunch later and I hit the slavery section of the Liverpool Maritime Museum. I generally like museums that are long on information, and this one did not fit that description at all. Large empty spaces abounded on what should be a packed floor. Those that were filled did little to give an overall picture of the history of human ownership. An ironically all white amateur dramatics group filled another space with a heavy handed and condescending portrayal of exactly how much screaming and bad acting took place on board a slave ship. The highlight, if it can be called that, of this lowlight was the stark reminder that less than 90 years have passed since the above picture was taken.

2:00

No visit to Liverpool would be complete without engaging in a Beatles related activity, so just before two I boarded the Magical Mystery Tour Bus to be whisked away to several Beatles related sights such as Strawberry Fields, Penny Lane and the former homes of the four band members. I booked on the day, but would advise doing so further in advance as I got the second last seat.

The tour itself is excellent, and along with the Walker Art Gallery, is my pick of the trip*. Things started off quite rockily though, as one of the non-English speaking patrons *coughRealMadridfancough* decided to conduct a loud telephone conversation as he couldn't understand the tour. One bad tempered conversation later though, and we were a much quieter and more civilised bus. I won't ruin the tour by writing any of the interesting facts but in true Murder Mystery-ruining style I will say that Mark Chapman did it.

4:30

After being dropped off by the coach, I had time for a quick look around the Tate Liverpool Gallery. The Tates are known for offering more modern (synonymous with crap) art. For the most part I would agree with that. There are some gems like the Warhol paintings and a Picasso, but a tilted head and scrunched up nose greeted most offerings.

5:15

A bus back to the airport and a flight that left early took me out of Liverpool before the fuse ran too low.

Liverpool offers just enough to do in one day, a slogan that won't be on their tourist website any time soon. I packed in a lot, simply because I booked purely based on frugality and before I determined what sights were worth seeing. In hindsight, and after two days sleep, a more sedate pace is to be advised.

As for the people, Liverpudlians are generally helpful and friendly, if you can keep yourself from saying “Alright, Alright. Calm Down, Calm Down” to them every time they speak

Liverpool was a real find, mostly because I wasn't expecting to find much of anything. Its a recommend for me. Just give the Slavery Museum as wide a berth as a 21st Century advocate for its reinstatement.

8/10


*Trademark Pending