Lord of the Rings Trilogy Movie and DVD Review

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Movie and DVD Review

Sure, what else would you be doing on New Years eve apart from watching all three Rings movies back to back? I mean, it just makes sense doesn't it? I shot back that in the time it took to watch three movies which I had already seen, we could view at least seven which I hadn't. However, I could feel myself being sucked into an eleven-plus hour Whirlpool of Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves during which I feared that I would Frodo-like lose my grip on reality. I was outvoted two to one and our little Fellowship of the DVD was struck.

I was reticent from the outset and almost determined not enjoy myself. I remembered the scene in Clerks 2 where Randal Graves describes the three movies as dreary walking, and that seemed to be how I remembered them. If the films were this bad then I was going to need the Clockwork Orange eye openers to make it through all three.

I'm convinced that Peter Jackson must have put some kind of subliminal messaging into these films because by the time Cate Blanchett had finished her Elvish peth-eth-eth-eth through the opening monologue, I was ready to go on a sightseeing tour of New Zealand wearing Hobbit feet and the One Ring.

The First movie, Fellowship of the Ring, is played on a smaller scale than the two which follow. Apart from a brief trip to the land of men, Jackson keeps the backdrops distinctly unpanoramic. This gives the film a more parochial feel, which allows the other two thirds, with their massive battle scenes to really open up the trilogy. It reminded me of a Middle Earth Magnificent Seven; a band of gunslingers who come to the aid of a village in trouble. It's a character piece that invests the audience in the other two battle infested installments.

I realise now the reason why I didn't enjoy Two Towers first time out. Eighteen months had passed since the first movie, and rather than watch Fellowship again, I rented Two Towers and watched it cold. There's no recap at the start of any of the movies. Instead, you're throw straight in to the current story again. This is fair enough given that there's so much story to tell, but Two Towers doesn't have a definitive start or end and so can be disappointing if watched in isolation. Not so this time, because we whacked straight into it immediately after Fellowship.

We called it an early morning half way through the second movie and although I agreed, I secretly wanted to continue, but was brought round by the realisation that it was 2AM and there still remained some six odd hours of film.

Helm's Deep is the single best set piece in the trilogy. The only downside is that it's mostly intercut with Tree Beard scenes. Although these scenes tend to stop the pacing from becoming too frenetic, they can also be quite boring when placed alongside an Elf shooting arrows whilst sliding down a flight of stairs on a shield.

Return of the King is undoubtedly the fortunate son of the trilogy (there's a "jewel in the crown" pun just waiting to be made here). It gets all the plot resolutions, the Shelob sequence (containing my favourite trilogy camera shot of the upside down spider), Mount Doom, and, barring Helm's Deep contains all the grand battles. Even though the movie flicks through them all in whirlwind style, I would echo the "too many endings" criticism. The movie finishes too far after its climax. Viggo Mortensen must be some actor to have come away from this film seeming manly, given that in one scene he's wearing an effeminate crown and signing a musical number. I almost expected a bluebird to alight on his arm and sing along with him.

The DVD extras are top drawer. Each movie contains about five hours of documentaries, as well as writer, director, cast and crew commentaries (four in all). The cast commentaries are the best, but don't expect an even experience since the whole ensemble contribute. The highlights are Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd, who are genuinely funny while Sean Astin and, to a lesser extent Elijah Wood give the usual bland sentiments about "the craft" and how us normal people don't realise what a difficult process an actor goes through to create a character.

The documentaries are plentiful, but unless you're a die hard, certain parts can be skipped. The portions dealing with the adaptation of the source material and the filming process are excellent, but once I reached the WETA workshop and big-atures sections, I found myself hitting the chapter button on my remote more frequently, especially given the nasal monotony of WETA creator Richard Taylor's voice.

Now the real test. How to make it through the final paragraph with relying on the use of Gollum's "P" word? Just consider this; when you take the extras into account, there's well over twenty four hours of material in the complete box set of DVDs, not to mention that the films are some of the best made in recent years. When you factor in that the set costs less than €50 in most shops, I think you'll find that there's precious little you can do, but buy these fine DVDs. Oh...

8.5/10

The Wrestler Movie Review

The Wrestler

Movie Review

Ok, its confession time. I was an avid and am still an occasional wrestling fan. It seems to rank somewhere between Anime and Star Trek in the list of things you should not mention enjoying or even knowing about in polite company. I can't count the number of times the phrase "you know it's fake, don't you?" has been uttered near me. I'm sure there was a time when I thought that Hulk Hogan really was about to lose before mustering all his strength to impossibly beat his opponent senseless, but I eventually worked out what was really going on. For children, I think its comparable to santy; you believe its real up to a certain age then, and mostly before anyone even tells you, you've worked out the truth for yourself. Darren Aronofsky's Oscar-nominated movie The Wrestler doesn't deceive or sugarcoat; from the outset it's grim and grimy fare, but a powerhouse performance from Mickey Rourke rewards those who can sit through it without slipping to the bathroom to slit their wrists.

Rourke plays Randy "The Ram" Robinson, a wrestler who enjoyed his prime of popularity in the eighties, and has been on a downward curve since. By the time we meet him he's nearing rock bottom, if you'll forgive the wrestling pun. He works a menial job during the week and wrestles at a series of small venues at weekends, having apparently squandered any real money he made during the height of his fame.

The wrestling scenes are perfectly authentic. Old ballrooms serve as the arenas and the fans shout their three syllable chants of "Ho-ly Shit" and the like with gusto. Matches are mostly filmed close up, with the camera in-ring. Despite this, the shots never become disorienting. I liked that Aronofsky doesn't try to stylise the act. This is the first dramatised film I know of, which has not treated wrestling like a carnival sideshow. There's no ultimate good vs. evil clash propelling this movie forward; wrestling just serves as the backdrop for the story of how one man made some very bad life choices.

If you've ever seen a documentary called Beyond The Mat, you'll know why Randy the Ram reminds me of Jake "The Snake" Roberts. The film, which was shot in the late nineties and which Vince McMahon (WWF/WWE chairman) tried to block, shows a broken husk of a man, addicted to drugs and estranged from his daughter. The incongruity of those scenes and the man I remember from Saturday morning wrestling was stark and I was reminded of Roberts while watching Rourke's performance.

Marisa Tomei holds her own next to the Ram, but is unconvincing as an over the hill stripper purely because she's still hot. The only part of the movie which left me struggling to suspend my disbelief was that strip club patrons would not want her to dance for them. Yeah, right.

This spandexed Leaving Las Vegas is not one to watch if you've just had bad news, but if you have the stomach its well worth a watch because Rourke's acting is flawless. If you have seen it and want more then try watching Bambi up until the point when her mother is shot or stop Its A Wonderful Life when Jimmy Stewart wants to jump off the bridge. Just be aware that you're not a well person.

8/10

Fire Emblem Path of Radiance Game Review

Fire Emblem - Path of Radiance

Game Review

It may have been the excitement of the situation, or all the Belgian chocolate I had just eaten, but my hands were trembling as I flicked through the options. To my left were a group of soldiers bearing spears, mounted sword wielders on my right, and a pack of humans who had transformed into animals lay straight ahead. I gritted my teeth, bore down and guided my Paladin into battle with a wolf. My knight, bringing up the rear as usual took on a sword carrier, against whom his lance was strong. This was only a fraction of the battle playing itself out before me, and I was a long way from victory. But, like any other Fire Emblem game I have played, I was enjoying my attempts to get there.

Since this is my first video game review, let me give you a little background. I was a dedicated gamer from seven to age sixteen. My first experience of owning a home console came when I received a NES for Christmas one year. Actually, it was slightly after Christmas before I got my hands on a black and grey controller. A Scalectrix set had actually been my Christmas present, but it had broken after two hours of play. With this in mind and the fact that towards the end of the two hours I had begun to get bored, my dad had returned it in favour of a Nintendo Entertainment System and a copy of Super Mario Brothers. From then on I had at least one console until I sold my PlayStation - the first and only non-Nintendo console I ever owned - and the game which it had taken me over one hundred hours to complete, Final Fantasy VII.

I had spent days completing role playing games in my teens and hoped to renew my acquaintance with the genre when I bought a Gamecube on eBay last year. However, I found that my gaming tastes had changed. Now I can't get through about half an hour of any RPG before endless random battles, levelling and plot exposition leave me rolling my eyes every time my forward movement is impeded and continually pressing A to advance the story. I think the main reason for my migration though is that most RPGs do not actually require a lot of skill. Keep levelling up for long enough and you're bound to gain higher stats than any enemy. Its an exercise in determination more than anything. This is why my new favourite genre is the turn based strategy game. Guiding a whole army of characters into battle requires infinitely more thought than completing yet another fetch quest.

Path of Radiance was the only Fire Emblem game released for the Nintendo Gamecube. The idea behind the games is simple. You are given control of a group of individuals which you must use to fight against, and ultimately defeat, your enemy. Victory can consist of wiping out all enemy forces, seizing a specific spot on the map, or beating a certain character. The player also has chances to gain new allies along the way to add to their existing army.

I had played, and become addicted to, the Advance Wars and Fire Emblem series on the Gameboy Advance, and was expecting to have to clear my schedule for this installment. I wasn't wrong; I really had it bad for this game. I remember one particularly worrying occasion on which the game had made me twenty minutes late to meet a friend. That's right, the game did it. One of the downsides to the game is that it is not possible to save mid battle, and I had invested forty five minutes of my time already. So, putting on my coat while the computer was taking its turn, I slowly edged from the room while still holding the controller. I eventually had to admit that it was a choice between my friend and the game, so ten minutes later I capitulated and paused the game while rushing out of the house. I would blame my lateness on a delayed train. That's the problem with junkies; you can't trust them.

For me, the appeal of the Fire Emblem series lies in the planning. On later levels a good twenty minutes can be spent mapping out exactly where each of your cohorts will move before actually executing any strategy. Sending a warrior one space too far can leave you resetting the console whilst mumbling obscenities, because once a character dies, they're not coming back, and if you lose a key unit (or even one that you feel *sigh* an emotional connection to) you're going to want to play the stage over. If you've played the first non-Japanese Fire Emblem game (on the GBA), you'll know how difficult that game was, especially in the latter stages. To experience the same challenge, you'll need to crank this one up to hard mode. Anything less can be breezed by pretty handily.

I cannot overstate how much fun this game is to play. The rock paper scissors weapon system (axe beats lance, lance beats sword, sword beats axe) is the series mainstay, but as compelling as ever, and the addition of the half human-half animal laguz tribe is a nice touch. They become an ally early on, and although they're useless in human form, once they transform they're as powerful as any unit on the field. I have read reviews bemoaning (laguz aside) the lack of new ideas in this game, but it really is a case of things not being broke. The game is simple fun and there was a chance that adding new elements to the mix could have left the game bloated with unnecessary extras (e.g. Yggdra Union for the GBA).

Even though it still costs £20 to £30 on eBay, which is at the high end for a last gen console, try to pick up a copy of this game to see why its the best thing since sliced RPG.

9.5/10

Yes Man Movie Review

Yes Man

Movie Review

Yes We Can. Three simple words that seem to have given hope to not just the United States, but the world, in what is a globally dark time. However, the sentiment is uniquely North American; the idea that hard work and determination can get anyone where they want to go. And the release of the latest Jim Carrey vehicle, Yes Man, whether intentional or not, has coincided with the current recentering on this most American of ideals.

We meet Carrey's character Carl three years after an emotionally messy divorce. He's stuck in a rut; no advancement in his job, lingering feelings for an ex-wife who has long since moved on and an unwillingness to socialise. He meets a former colleague who persuades him to attend a self-help seminar, where he is further persuaded to say yes to every choice he is presented with for one year.

Although the movie is above average for a Carrey outing, it still suffers from some basic problems, the biggest of which is that it doesn't feel fully formed. The comedy flows once Carrey embarks on his year of yes, but clunky exposition and unfunny dialogue combine to write off nearly the whole of the first act.

Another mistake, in my opinion, is the early introduction of Zooey Deschanel. Carrey hits the motherload when he meets her almost immediately after submitting to saying yes, and even though she disappears for a while after, you know she'll be back eventually. Her quirky Allison is shown to be just what Carl needs, which locks down the ending pretty quickly at a point when the film should have felt more unpredictable.

That aside, Carrey and Deschanel are a good on screen match. It may have just been good acting, but their scenes together gave me the sense that the actors, not just their characters, enjoyed each others company. Rhys Darby, recognisable from his role in Flight of the Conchords, gives a funny variation on his Murray character. Danny Masterson may have been inadvertently cast as Hyde, his "That 70's Show" character again. Luis Guzman also pops up to show why he should be cast in larger comedic roles.

A final criticism is the tone of the scenes in which Carl flirts with Allison. Although for the most part fine, Carrey does occasionally come across as a mental defective who should end up with a face full of mace, rather than a goodnight kiss for his troubles. Despite this, the film bounces along well towards its funny if slightly preposterous ending. Wait for the DVD before saying yes to this one.

6/10

Role Models Movie Review

Role Models

Movie Review

Anchorman, the Will Ferrell love-it-or-hate-it comedy, has more than a little to answer for when it comes to the casting of recent comedy movies. Most of the comedy leading men currently doing the rounds starred to a greater or lesser extent in the quotable cult movie, which did as much as 40 Year Old Virgin to make Steve Carrell a recognisable face. The line of succession reads like a chapter of the Old Testament. Ferrell begat Steve Carrell, who begat Seth Rogen. The latest to be begat is Paul Rudd, who stars in Role Models, and it's pretty damn laugh out loud hilarious.

The plot of Role Models is simple stuff. Rudd plays a cynical and dour energy drink executive who is unhappy with how his life is unfolding. His attitude produces a bad day, which lands him and his co-worker Seann William Scott in trouble with the law. With the spectre of prison hanging over them, the court provides an alternative; spend one hundred and fifty hours working in a mentoring programme with children in desperate need of role models. This sets up the meat of the story, as the two men try to complete their allotted hours.

The two most important things to any movie, the cast and script, are spot on in Role Models, and I think its fair to say that during the film I developed a man crush on Paul Rudd. I had forgotten how much I liked him in Anchorman and Forty Year Old Virgin. His venom spitting character is believable and fun to watch, and Scott's hapless womaniser makes a perfect foil. Seann William Scott, who it seems is destined to have Stiffler mentioned in the first line of his obituary, does well as Rudd's carefree colleague. The child he is paired with – Bobb’e Thompson - steals the movie. Giving a performance akin to a ten year old Eddie Murphy (pre Dr. Dolittle, mind) he produces the movies best moments and funniest lines. Christopher Mintz-Plasse of McLovin' Superbad fame, is charged to Rudd. The pair work well together and there is a satisfying pay-off to their relationship. Elizabeth Banks provides the slight, emotional core of the movie, but never gets a chance to flex her comedy muscles, which is disappointing given her performance in Zack and Miri.

The jokes are rude for the most part, but clever enough to avoid crudity and there are plenty of them packed into the ninety minute running time. Rudd's occasional reactions to other characters unusual comments are golden and double up the laughs. The ending is of the "I really learned something and now I'm a better person for it" variety that’s been played out hundreds of times before, but it manages to be fresh and never feel contrived. In fact, I felt a genuine sense of excitement as the last act built momentum.

Role Models provides sufficient laughs to justify the price of admission - Eddie Murphy Jr's antics alone would make me spend money on the DVD - and left me smiling for hours after. Hopefully Rudd's reign as the latest comedy Messiah will last longer than Steve Carrell's.

8.5/10

The Spirit Movie Review

The Spirit

Movie Review

I've yet to fully form an opinion on Frank Miller. He is undoubtedly to be admired for giving Batman back his balls, but I've read the Sin City and Dark Knight graphic novels and was quite, but not overly impressed. I liked the Dark Knight stories, but I'm not a fan of what I would term the "squiggly" artwork. The reverse is true of Sin City. I really enjoyed the style, but found that the stories were hit and miss. Miller's latest piece of writing - and his directorial debut - is the movie version of Wil Eisner's Spirit.

Its a remarkable turnaround to see Miller directing what must be a big budget movie, as he was, until recently, not a friend of the Hollywood machine. He was openly hostile to the treatment his scripts for Robocop 2 and 3 suffered by being rewritten and swore that he would not allow any more of his work to be put through the movie mincer. Although not quite up to the level of some of Watchmen creator Alan Moore's tirades, it seemed as though that was that for movie versions of Miller's work. This changed, however, when Robert Rodriguez brought him test footage for what eventually became the movie version of Sin City. Following its commercial success, Zak Snyder directed the 2007 adaptation of Miller's testosterone-filled spartan book, '300', about the battle of Thermopylae. Now Miller, embracing Hollywood once more, has decided to try his hand at directing, and the results are - excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little - not good.

The first thing I noticed about this film is that visually it looks like Sin City 1.5, which is no bad thing. It seems that so impressed was Miller that not only did he give Rodriguez permission to make the movie version of his noir novels, he openly cogged the style for 'Spirit'. This, however, is where the goodness runs out. Miller's now trademark of having his characters give manly internal monologues, a la Hartigan in Sin City, opens the movie. Something which I had never considered before though, is that, what was gritty and cool when delivered by an in form Bruce Willis, can descend into pantomime farce if acted badly. I was twisting uncomfortably in my seat as the Spirit spoke about 'his city' in the most cheesy way possible - "she gives me life, she gives me everything". And it didn't get any better.

This opening scene sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Imagine going to see a movie with your mother and grandmother which discusses the intricacies of oral sex in detail, culminating with a demonstration, and you can imagine that at times I was having to shield my eyes from what was happening on screen. In particular watch out for a scene involving a photocopier, any lines relating to the villains hatred of eggs and any moments which expound upon the heroes love of women. I began to regard the movie as an entity and felt bad that it had such delinquent parents who would expose it to multitudinous bad influences.

Gabriel Macht, who plays the title character, gives one of the most unconvincing and wooden performances I have ever seen committed to celluloid. His relationship with Octopus, the main antagonist played by Samuel L. Jackson, is established pretty early on, as is the fact that both are almost indestructible. It was hard to identify with Macht's character because he never really suffers to achieve his goals. There is physical pain, but his wolverine-like abilities bring him back from almost anything. When this was established, I found that the movie began to languidly roll along from set piece to set piece.

Samuel L. Jackson is - well, Samuel L. Jackson. He gives a slightly off kilter performance as the Octopus and shouts in that inimitable Jackson style when he feels the audience is nodding off. Poor attempts at dark humour aside, he's actually quite interesting to watch, especially given that he never actually seems threatening. That's another problem with this movie; the audience never really believe that everything is on the line. Even the obligatory romantic storyline involving Eva Mendes descends to meh territory pretty quickly. Frank Miller must have some brilliant powers of persuasion to have been able to attract A list actresses to be part of this movie, given that their characters are nothing more than thinly drawn pieces of eye candy. In saying that, Scarlett Johansson does have her moments as Octopus' sidekick, though her role is underwritten.

Remember the scene in Ransom where Mel Gibson's son sees Gary Sinise come to collect his "reward" money? Now imagine that body language transplanted to a grown man in a cinema seat, minus the uncontrollable urination, and you get some idea of how much I wanted to exit the theatre by this movie's end. The worst thing is that Sin city 2, a potential palette cleanser, is at least two years away from hitting screens, and will probably include a part for Rose McGowan, of whom I've never been a fan. But, in this city where the streets smell like ammonia and baby food, and all the vending machines know your name, who's to say what toys we keep?

1.5/10

Purple Monkey Dishblogger is go!

Hi,

My name is Alan, and (hopefully), I'll be using this blog to share my views on movies and games, new and old, which I have seen or played. For instances, I just recently watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and hope to post a review here soon. Did you know that Stuart Townsend was the original actor hired to play Aragorn? After two weeks of rehearsals, Peter Jackson decided he wanted an older actor, so in flew Viggo Mortensen when filming had already begun. I can only imagine that Stuart Townsend would currently be remembered for more than being Charlize Theron's partner if he had managed to keep the role.

I also want to use the blog to display random pieces of writing and other (again hopefully) interesting bits and pieces. Any comments you have are welcome. Enjoy!

Alan